He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
