Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
