Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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