Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
