My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just invented taco cereal.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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