I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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