Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
