I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
