Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
