Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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