if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
