I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize