i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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