why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
