Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
