She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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