I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
