it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
