there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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