I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
zippers are such a cool invention
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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