I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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