I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
