You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
