I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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