you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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