i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize