My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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