is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
