i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
