after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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