So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
