im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I came so hard my ears popped.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
