Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
