He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
