Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
where does the pee come out of this thing
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
