wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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