Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
