What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
