we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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