Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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