So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
