My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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