so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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