All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
