Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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