I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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