he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
