Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize