Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
