We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
