Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
