Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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