Three words: puerto rican gang bang
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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