I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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