yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
