Will you blow on my dice?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
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