i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
