i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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