Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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