So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize