i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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