Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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