We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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