hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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