I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
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You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
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I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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