I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
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