She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
