My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
