My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
