i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
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So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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