left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize