She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
