you win again, gameday.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
